Of Giving Up and Letting Go

By Melanie Rigney

Is there a difference between giving up and letting go?

That question was posed at a retreat I attended recently. The conversation was of particular interest to me. While others were spending the retreat in prayer, working on faith journey scrapbooks, or taking long walks, I was researching a nonfiction book that’s due to a Catholic publisher on August 1.

And it is smack dab where I am right now when it comes to fiction writing.

Twenty years ago, a literary magazine published a short story of mine. The story also placed in a regional writers’ competition. It was the first chapter in a novel I was writing. My online critique group, seasoned Christian non-fiction writers, provided great feedback. I joined ACFW, hoping that someday, I’d be worthy of attending the conference.

The novel got rejected by a few agents and publishers, so I hired the late great Ginger Kolbaba to work on it with me. Her gentle, encouraging tone and knowledge of the industry convinced me to keep trying while I worked on three other novel projects.

Then the day job went nuts. While I found time to write four more Catholic non-fiction books (or was it five? The memory blurs), fiction writing went by the wayside. Was I giving up or letting go? I didn’t really have time to think about it.

Within two weeks of retirement in November 2023, I rejoined ACFW. I entered the 2024 Genesis contest with a day or two to spare, and got the call that I was among my category’s semifinalists. Was I thrilled? Nope. I spent the next day coming up with all the reasons God didn’t want this: I’m old I’m a mid-list Catholic non-fiction author. My social media life by choice has all but dried up since 2020. If I went to the conference, I would know fewer than half a dozen people. What if no one would talk to me?

I went to dinner with a couple non-writer friends, and when we made our prayer requests, I laid all this out.

“I think I know what’s behind this,” one said.

“Oh, I know that!” I replied. “Poor self esteem.”

She looked me in the eyes. “I don’t think so. The Lord’s telling me it’s pride.”

Convicted!

I let go and went to the conference. I didn’t final, but I made some new friends. Right before my agent and editor appointments, someone I’d known years ago found me and prayed over me.

I don’t have an agent yet, and the publishing house I targeted wasn’t interested in that first novel, though the editor was encouraging about my skill and asked to see when it was ready a manuscript for which I’d given her a one-paragraph description.

I started working on it a couple hours a day, and found a crit partner. I passed ACFW CritStarters and joined Scribes. But before I could get up the nerve to submit something for critique, a Catholic publisher asked what I wanted to write next. The editors liked the idea that had been on my heart and gave me a contract with a short deadline.

That’s where I am. Does that contract mean the Lord desires that I give up fiction writing, regardless of the joy I find in those moments I am with my characters? I don’t know. I do know I believe there is a difference between giving up, which can be sour-faced obedience, and letting go, which can be glorious surrender, trusting in God. I pray for the grace to let go.

Melanie Rigney loves almost nothing better than talking and writing about faith and grace. She is the author of eight non-fiction titles targeted for the Catholic market. Melanie is currently at work on a book about what the apostles’ lives can teach us today. Learn more at www.rejoicebeglad.com.