When Your Muse is Hurting

by Chandra Lynn Smith

When I scheduled my blog post dates for the year, of course I had no idea about what topics I might choose. Initially, I thought it might be about the changing of the seasons and how while summer is my favorite season and I am not a fan of pumpkin spice—yes I typed that—I might share how I do love fall and incorporating seasons into my writing.

But, guess what? Life happened this week. And death happened. I have sat and stared at my screen a lot since September 10. I’ve written a lot in my journal this week. I’ve read my Bible a lot this week. I’ve talked to my Savior a lot this week. But, my computer has been mostly idle. While some would tell me, and I have told myself, that writing through pain can be some of the best writing, I can say it’s not this past week. My muse is heartbroken and has needed quiet time.

We are at Ocean City, Maryland this week. We try to do this each fall to celebrate our anniversary.  The Airbnb is right on the beach. The balcony allows beautiful views and going to sleep with windows open, listening to the ocean is perfect. The dolphins have been going up and down the shoreline both days so far and sunrises and sunsets have been inspiring.

But still my muse is heartbroken and needs some quiet time. How is your muse faring right now?

Years ago in a class at the Greater Philadelphia Christian Writer’s Conference I learned about writing through deep emotions and trauma. The instructor taught us how to use our life situations and feelings in our characters’ lives. But she also cautioned against trying to do so while the heartache, emotional or physical trauma was fresh. I know that is what is going on this week. The tragedy, trauma, and heartbreak of this week combined with memories from 2001 put me in fresh trauma. Thus I have been staring at a blank screen.

I know I have written about Allen Arnold’s teaching about writing with God in other posts. But when your muse is hurting, or your emotions are rapidly changing from lows to highs, it is a good idea to sit back and focus on writing with God.

Here is why writing with God is so amazing. This morning I sat on the beach and watched a beautiful sunrise. I stayed out there as low tide in its perfect rhythm started changing from going out to coming in. There were a few moments, moments so brief that only those of us who were on the beach could really notice—and quite possibly not all noticed. In the moments when tide was at its lowest, there was a sort of calm. The waves didn’t stop. They simply sort of slowed. There was quiet between the crashing sounds. There were breaks between waves. It was subtle, passed quickly and returned to normal as the tide began to come in again.

In those moments, my heart felt my Father’s comfort and promise that he will never leave me or forsake me and that his plans are perfect. And, for me, part of those plans is writing with Him, even when I’m hurting or struggling.

And, as I opened up my computer after that time on the beach I read a quote one of my characters in the book To Follow a Dream said and it felt like words that I wrote years ago were written for me today. My character, MaryRose Elliott, spoke these words in her prayer time; “Joy despite heartbreak and sorrow. I want that. I want to find the joy no matter what happens.”

I want to be like MaryRose.

For us authors writing through grief and trauma whether emotional or physical is difficult, heart wrenching, and healing. God wants us me to not fear emotional writing, even when it is raw grief. I firmly believe when we write with God the healing only He can provide will work through our characters, and our readers—even when the readers it helps are us.

Chandra Lynn Smith is a Certified Professional dog trainer and writer of contemporary fiction filled with inspiration, intrigue, romance, and dogs. She is a 2015 American Christian Fiction Writers Genesis Contest winner with her novella, Turtle Box Memories. She has also been a 2-time semi-finalist with To Follow a Dream and To Chase a Dream, as well as The Light Holding Her. Coming soon is To Rescue a Dream. Chandra and her husband live on a small farm in South Central Pennsylvania which is often filled with all four sons, wives, beautiful granddaughters, friends, and anywhere from four to nine “grand dogs” Find Chandra at www.amazon.com/author/chandralynnsmith.